UNIQUE RELATIONSHIP: The counseling relationship is a unique, confidential and safe, and often an intense emotional environment for exploring who you are. Many of the most important movements forward in my own growth initiated from the work I did in my own therapy. And those with whom I enter it, I hold the utmost respect for.
MEANINGFUL CHANGE: After more than twenty years of practice, I’ve learned that insight and understanding counts for, at most, 49% of what brings about healing and change. The majority resides in embodying those insights in real life change. Although lasting change usually starts internally, true change can only be verified and validated in the outside world, more specifically, in the context of relationships; which for me, is the only meaningful context where health and wholeness are observable and measurable, and where it matters most.
THE PROCESS: Obviously, achieving this is usually far easier said than done. Resetting expectations, unpacking and becoming more conscious of your “meaning-maker”, learning how to ingest the words and actions of others in a healthy manner, taking personal responsibility, figuring out how to let go and how to overcome internal obstacles, and how to relate to difficult people and circumstances are only some of ingredients and hard work typically involved in the healing and change process.
MY APPROACH: Although trained in family systems therapies (i.e. view the individual in the context of a system of relationships), and specifically Object Relations Family Therapy (i.e. examining the unconscious), I employ a contextualized and eclectic approach. My clinical experience has led me to conclude that one approach does not fit all. But my approach typically involves some education and reframing of your presenting issue in order to create a meaningful context for further self-awareness. And then we begin to examine your internal world and how it influences your relationship to the outside world through Internal Dialogue Therapy. This technique allows us to quickly identify conflicts, collusions or avoidances going on between different parts of you so we can work on resolving and recalibrating your internal world to allow you to begin to make more conscious, authentic and healthier decisions about how you are going to engage in the relationships and world you are part of.
WAYS TO MEET: In addition to meeting face-to-face in my office at the Chinook Professional Building, I’m delighted to offer the option of video and telephone sessions. For clients living outside Calgary, this is their only option. But given the realities of “life in the city”, and the advancements in technology, its also a viable option for those living in the city with limits on their time. These options not only allow you to avoid the frustrations of travel and spending time in transit, they allow you to meet with me in the comfort and privacy of your home or office. And for those who are more comfortable expressing themselves through writing, we can use email as our means of communication. This will allow you to take your time and sort out your thoughts and then allow you time to digest my email reply and review it later if needed.
ASSESSMENTS: When it is appropriate, I recommend personality assessments as a means to gather lots of helpful information about you, very quickly. The inventory I prefer most for individual assessment is the Sixteen Personality Factor (16PF). And I also like to use the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). For couples (premarital and married), I like to use the Prepare/Enrich Inventory. All three can be taken online and the results sent to me for review. There is a cost for these services.
CONNECT: If you have any questions about my approach, don’t hesitate to call me a 403-252-3316 ext 43 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a Skype invitation to dr.paul.day so we can video chat before you make a decision about working together.